


Adrift

by Shackleddamsel



Series: Snarry Misadventures [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Harry's in a bad place, M/M, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:08:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27831274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shackleddamsel/pseuds/Shackleddamsel
Summary: Voldermort maybe gone but Harry Potter doesn't feel like it's a world worth living in.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Series: Snarry Misadventures [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1023120
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Adrift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gia_Sesshoumaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gia_Sesshoumaru/gifts).



> Gia, dear, here's my holiday gift to you. I know it's supposed to be a festive atmosphere but... here you go.

Harry was running out of the castle through the courtyard and towards the Shrieking Shack. He just hoped he was not too late. He threw the door open and rushed inside but there was nothing there, no one but the blood stain on the floor. He fell to his knees, shaking and he could feel his magic lashing out. His head was throbbing painfully and he could not breath, his throat was closing in, then there was darkness. He felt strong arms around him and dragged him outside of the shack. 

“Potter!” 

Malfoy, that was Draco Malfoy’s voice. Harry’s throat started to ease and he was able to breathe easier and his eyes focused on the sight of the Shrieking Shack burning. He was about to run towards it but he was dragged back.

“He’s not there anymore, Potter!”

He just collapsed on the ground when Malfoy let his arm go. He felt tears pouring out of his eyes, blurring his view of the fire. Then he heard himself sobbing and before he knew it he was screaming. Crying, wailing, shouting his pain. This pain was consuming and he just had to scream out.

~~~

Harry locked himself in the room he shared with Ron at the Burrow. There were insistent knocks at first but after the first few times that he did not answer they let him be. He knew his friends were worried about him but he did not have his usual strength to reassure them. He just wanted to wallow in his pain and just curl up in the dark. He knew they would try and comfort him but he did not want that. He did not want them to placate him and try to make things better. It would not be better even with Voldermort gone he hated this world. He would give anything to go back to yesterday he would even resurrect Tom Riddle just to be able to go back.

~~~

Ron just returned from another attempt to talk to Harry who was still holed up in his room since they arrived from Hogwarts after the battle. He shook his head at his waiting family and friends. They had all been distressed and confused about what to do with Harry. He sat beside Hermione who had been weeping silently.

They all had thought that it would be better when Voldermort was gone but the battle had left a lot of their friends dead. Ron thought he was lucky that no one from his family had been killed other than a few bruises, everyone survived. 

“Still nothing?” Remus asked, his eyes imploring him.

“Not even a word.”

They just sat there silently, no one really knew what more to say or do. His mother handed some tea and coffee but no one seemed to be drinking them. They were still staring at each other when they heard someone apparate. Remus and his father stood to check who it was, he did not even bother to move from where he sat his arms around Hermione.

“Ron,” he heard his father call from outside. 

He patted his girlfriend’s hand before heading outside to see what was going on. Remus and Draco Malfoy had their wands out aiming at each other.

“I just want to talk to Potter. I have a message for him,” Malfoy turned to Ron but his wand was still at Remus.

“Harry is not available, Malfoy. What do you want?” 

“It’s a private message, I am under oath to only give it to Potter.”

“You don’t understand, Draco,” his father tried to explain. “Harry is not talking to anyone, not even us.” 

Malfoy raised his hands up in surrender.”Look, I really need to try. You can even have my wand so long as no one points theirs at me.” 

Remus lowered his wand and his father reached for Malfoy’s. 

“Do you know what’s going on with Harry?” Ron asked as they led him inside the house.

“I think I have an idea.”

Ron really hoped that the ferret could help reach his best friend since nothing else seemed to be working. He climbed the stairs once again and pointed to his door when they reached it.

“Let me,”Draco knocked twice. “Potter, I have a letter for you.” 

Ron did not know what he was expecting but he was surprised that the wards on the door was removed even though Harry did not talk he figured that meant Malfoy could enter.

~~~

Ron descended once again to a roomful of expectant people. “He opened the door to Malfoy but did not say anything.”

“Why him?” Hermione was hurt. He could understand that, of all the people they knew why would Harry want to talk to Malfoy. “Do you think it was about Snape?” 

“What?” Ron sputtered.

“We found him at the Shrieking Shack right? Where Snape was,” Hermione continued.

The shack was burning when they arrived and Harry was inconsolable. Malfoy was holding him back from rushing to the fire. But Ron did not understand why Harry would feel that way about the man that made his life at Hogwarts difficult.

They all went back to staring into space and drifting about the house when Malfoy came down. He nodded to them and headed straight to the door but hesitated before turning back to them.

“He was talking about taking his own life,” he told them. “I don’t know how serious he was but I thought you should know.”

“Tell us what’s happening to him, please,” Hermione begged.

Malfoy started for the door again. “He is grieving.”

Nobody said anything even after they heard Malfoy disapparate. 

Hermione suddenly stood up and raced up the stairs and he had no choice but to follow her. They stopped at the front of the door and Hermione pushed it open slowly. Inside they saw Harry without his shirt standing at the front of the mirror, his back to them. 

Ron never knew his friend had a tattoo but there it was covering most of his back. It was the Slytherin viper snake wrapped around what seemed to him was a silver crown.

Hermione entered and picked up a letter that was on the floor. “Oh, Harry,” she sobbed and gathered their friend in her arms. Harry’s shoulder started to shake, so hard he was not able to keep upright. He and Hermione slumped down the floor clinging to each other as they both cried.

Ron reached for the letter that Hermione was clutching.

_ Harry, _

_ If you are reading this, then it is finally over and I did not survive. Harry, I am sorry that I am causing you more grief than you have already experienced. I was really hoping that I could be there to just hold you, wishful thinking, one might say. I am sure that you are having trouble sleeping more than usual and it burdens me that I am not there to give you comfort and embrace you through the night. _

_ Know that your presence in my life has given me more happiness than anything else in this world. It humbles me that you chose me, out of everyone else, you chose to give your affection to me. I am not worthy but I am selfish enough not to let you go. _

_ There is still so much I wanted to say but time is running out. My heart, Harry is yours, always. _

_ Severus _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Follow on Twitter @shackled_damsel.


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